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Victoria Monét and Kelly Rowland Have a Lot More in Common Than They Realized
A small room at the top of Hollywood’s historic Paramount Recording Studios is serving as a salon for Victoria Monét as she and a stylist put the finishing touches on her hair. She’s preparing to sit down with Kelly Rowland, and she’s pretty nervous. Meeting a role model can do that to a person.
When Destiny’s Child released The Writing’s on the Wall in 1997, Monét was about 10 years old, and Rowland about 18. Like many Black girls at the turn of the century (and today), Victoria loved Destiny’s Child. She says when she saw Rowland on that album cover — brown-skinned like her, in a gleaming halter top, standing proudly with her bandmates Beyoncé, LeToya Luckett, and LaTavia Roberson — she saw someone she could look up to.
Back then, Destiny’s Child often worked out of this very studio. Rowland, 42, makes herself at home when she arrives, and Monét, 34, goes over to deliver some roses that she brought. Rowland receives her with a warm embrace and offers Monét a chance to get in on the salad order she’s placing, in the love language of food.
Monét’s butterflies seem to float away as the two take photos together. They listen to each other keenly as they talk about their kids. Rowland has two sons, Titan, nine, and Noah, two; Monét’s daughter, Hazel, is a month younger than Noah. At one point, Rowland reveals that she and Noah shared a special moment to “We Might Even Be Falling in Love,” a soulful interlude from Monét’s 2020 EP, Jaguar, that became part of a popular social media challenge.
The two artists find other points of connection in their conversation, some unexpected and emotional. Soon, both of them are dabbing away tears as they reflect on music and family.
Monét: I think the first time we connected was in 2021. You had just had Noah, and I was pregnant and trekking along to have Hazel. And you were just so sweet. Having a baby in a pandemic can be isolating.
Rowland: Yes.
Monét: So to have you there telling me advice, just as you were doing it as well, was just lovely. I have to give you your flowers just for being a great human being in addition to being a great musician.
Rowland: Thank you so much. My favorite thing about you is what I feel in your music. I feel like you are warm. I always feel like there’s so many levels to your music and when we get that version of you, as a mom, as a writer, as an artist, as a performer — like, “She’s the truth.” It’s so awesome to hear that. And it’s dope to me that you’re like, “I grew up with your music,” and now I’m listening to yours. And my children are listening to your music. Your music really transcends through generations.
Monét: That means so much.
Rowland: Oh, no, absolutely. It has so much soul, has so much fun. It’s just a class all by itself. And I genuinely love it. I love what you bring to this generation. You force everybody to step the fuck up when it comes to performing, because you are top tier.
Monét: Thank you! I’m emulating what I’ve seen growing up, you know? It all feels really full circle, because I moved to L.A. in 2009 to audition to be in a girl group. It ended up being me and two other girls, one from New York and one from Cincinnati. And when I tell you we ran down “Say My Name” and “Cater 2 U,” like, there’s a bunch of YouTube videos—
Rowland: I’m gonna find them!
Monét: Oh, no, I shouldn’t have said that! But no, they’re all over the internet.
Rowland: To be in a girl group and then to be off on your own … I’m intrigued to know how you handled that transition.
Monét: It was kind of like triumph, then heartbreak, then triumph, then heartbreak. We had sang for a bunch of executives covering Destiny’s Child, and we got signed to Motown. And then there was a point where, I guess, staff switched, so they dropped the group, but I was still in contract. I kind of had to pause until I could figure that whole situation out. And I think that’s where my pursuit of songwriting came in heavily, just trying to find a way to still express myself. Writing became how I got into more rooms.
Rowland: I applaud you, because I remember that transition was crazy for me. And when you said the high-low, I completely understood that. I remember being like, “What is about to happen?” It can be quite jolting. But you handled it with so much ease.
Monét: You as well.
Rowland: You’re always graceful. That’s very rare.
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Monét: I feel like we’re in the mirror. Everyone across the board is like, “Kelly is such a sweetheart. She makes you feel like you belong in that room. She makes you feel so loved and warm.” It just feels like a hug, hanging out, talking to you.
Rowland: I don’t mind being a hug!
Monét: It’s a nice firm hug. It’s not like the church hug. It’s a real hug.
Rowland: I think people know that you’re a songwriter, you’re an artist. But look, when you made us [as fans] write a second verse [to “We Might Even Be Falling in Love”]? Which I literally still listen to over and over again! Like, “Why didn’t she do a second verse?” “Well, write it, shit.” It’s so brilliant!
Monét: You know what? To be honest, contractually, I cannot make the record longer. So I had to find a way around, you know, and also just try to be creative and collaborate with as many people as I could. That was a fun way to hear people’s different take on it.
Rowland: That’s me and Noah’s song.
Monét: I love that so much! I think I saw a video of you guys in the closet dancing?
Rowland: Yes. I was dancing with my baby in my bra in the closet. [Sings] “Might even be falling in love …” The way he looked at me and the way we locked eyes is literally burned in my brain. That’s what I mean. He’ll never forget that.
Monét: So I wanted to share something with you that I recently found out.
Rowland: What? We family?
Monét: We could be. I found out that your dad’s last name is Lovett, and my family’s last name is Lovett. We have Lovett Funeral Home in Mobile, Alabama.
Rowland: L-O-V-E-T-T?
Monét: Yes. So I’m like, we might need to do a little 23 [a.k.a. 23andMe] real quick, because your family’s from the South.
Rowland: Yes! My heart is racing right now. Victoria, that is wild. Are you serious?
Monét: All my music is under Lovett Music Incorporated.
Rowland: This is really blowing my mind. So it’s your dad’s side?
For a long time, I was like, ‘I’m fine without a dad.’ But I kept searching for it.
—Kelly Rowland
Monét: It’s actually my mom’s side. We’re similar in a lot of ways, just as far as our upbringing. I met my dad for the first time in my twenties. We met at an Atlanta hotel.… We went a lot of our years without our fathers present. And I just wanted to know, like, how was that for you? For me, it was a lot of questioning, like, “Why don’t I have what other kids have?” That question about if I’m wanted, and then later learning the full story.
Rowland: Wow. That just hit me like a ton of bricks. Mine was always, “Am I good enough?” I don’t know if this happened for you — when I first met him, and we were talking on the phone, girl, it was like, I felt like a little kid, like dating all over again. I’m married, by the way. Like, “Oh, my God, I can’t wait till he calls.” You know what I mean? It was the strangest feeling. And I called my friend who’s a therapist. He’s like, “This was what you were supposed to feel when you were two, and three, and four, and five, and six, and seven. Every little girl is supposed to feel like this.” For a long time, I was like, “I’m fine without a dad.” But I kept searching for it so deep. And when I met him, and I saw his face, and when I had Noah and I saw Noah in his face… [Tearing up] It just feels really good to have him.
Monét: I completely relate. Just growing up without him — one of the reasons why I wanted to be as successful as I could be was because I had this weird feeling or dream that I would be so famous that I would be on TV, and he would recognize my face and be like, “Oh, my God, that’s my girl.” Because I couldn’t find him. He had such a common name that I would go through every name — and I’m aging myself — in the phone book. I would call different people with this same name and ask if they knew such and such …
Rowland: Wow.
Monét: I ended up finding him eventually on Facebook. At first he was just so surprised to hear from me, and he rejected it for a while. So my first experience wasn’t what I ideally thought it was going to be, like open arms, but we got there. And the first time I met my dad, I was having a drink with him, which is crazy. But that same giddy feeling, like, “I hope he likes me.” Trying to gather all of these facts that maybe would make him proud. Like “I had good grades,” you know?… For me, I felt like having Hazel was kind of like his second chance to be there.
Rowland: I’m happy you got to meet him.
Monét: I feel the same. I’m happy you guys got to have that full-circle moment. To see him as a granddad, kind of imagining what it would have been like for you — and so you get to experience it, but just not for you — that’s really beautiful…. Do you feel like you like being in the room better or being in the booth [to record music]?
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Rowland: I love the booth. I’m a booth bitch.
Monét: Yeah, I’m a booth bitch! I want that on a shirt! I like to have it dark, lights off. Don’t look.
Rowland: I like it dark.
Monét: You can hear my voice. No one can see me, though. No one knows how I’m pushing these notes out. It’s just my space. Then come out and act surprised. Like, “What, did you like it?”
Rowland: “It was awesome, wasn’t it?!” The best thing to me about this particular studio was coming in and seeing the plaques on the wall.
Monét: [A] hit factory!
Rowland: It was! It still is. There’s so much talent that comes out of this particular studio. Everybody worked in here. You could go out and talk to different artists: “What you working on?” “Well, what you working on?”
Monét: “Can I hear it?”
Rowland: On the very last record, Destiny Fulfilled, we rented out [a] whole studio. So you had [Bryan-Michael] Cox on one side, Rodney [Jerkins] in another, 9th Wonder in another room; Sean Garrett is writing a verse—
Monét: Were they competitive?
Rowland: A little bit competitive, but it was healthy. It was like, “Dang, y’all just did that downstairs?” It was such a good feeling. I mean, it was expensive. But it was so worth it.
Monét: I can only imagine.
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Rowland: When my kids are listening to music now, it varies. I remember Titan went through this phase where he watched some song: “This is gonna be the best day of my life.” [Sings “Best Day of My Life” by American Authors.] He went from that to Drake. But then we had to change it up and find the right version of it without the curse words. So now his playlist is like Jay-Z, Kanye West, Drake, 21 Savage, to “Best Day of my Life,” to Maroon 5. I’m like, what just happened?
Monét: You know what? It’s really cool, though, for him to have that. Hazel’s not at the age where she can understand like, if I played Ariana [Grande]…. She knows Mommy, though. She knows my voice.
Rowland: Of course she does.
Monét: It’s really sweet. She’s like, “I wanna hear Mama’s song.” So I’m like, “Well, my songs, baby, are talking about smoking.” Like, I need a Kidz Bop.
Rowland: I need some advice from you. Because I hear melodies. And I’m always nervous, to this day — 25 years and I’m still nervous to sing a melody out loud. The last time I remember doing it, and it was so free, was the Destiny Fulfilled album, and the Miss Kelly album. But I haven’t exercised that muscle. Do you feel like it’s a muscle? Like you have to write every day to be great at songwriting?
I was trying to find a way to express myself. Writing became that.
—Victoria Monét
Monét: To be honest, I think your best songwriting comes when you have something you’ve experienced. I used to think like that, in a machine type of way: “Just write every day, no matter if you have anything to write about, just do it.” And I found that my better songs came when I had a little bit of time away from it and came back because I was excited all over again.… I think maybe that’s one reason why we like the lights off. Because we want a judgment-free space.
Rowland: Yes.
Monét: We want to do whatever comes freely to us, without the rejection. Do you feel like you’d have an easy time if you recorded yourself, like at your house studio, just trying stuff?
Rowland: Yes. I think I would also need a big sign in there that says, “Now keep in mind that I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my shit —E. Badu.” What is your favorite track off Jaguar II?
Monét: It changes all the time. This project is not, like, a playlist for a certain mood. It jumps from me talking about shaking ass and being outside to being completely in love. It’s a new version of Victoria. And my voice has changed since having Hazel.
Rowland: Did it drop an octave?
Monét: It dropped! How can we get it back up?
Rowland: Girl. I wish “When Love Takes Over” was as high live as it is on that record. It was like, “Drop that down.” Everything changes. But do you feel like your voice became richer?
Monét: The tone is more round and thicker. But I’m like, “I want both!”
Rowland: Well, I adore you. I am here for you. Behind the camera, in front of the camera, next to the camera.
Monét: Same! Whatever you need.
Rowland: I’ll call you when I get over my little [hesitance]…. “I did it out loud!”
Monét: I can’t wait to hear the new music. I know it’s going to be brilliant. I think you’re going to be happily surprised.
Rowland: I look forward to the surprise.
Monet: Hair by JARED HENDERSON for CHRIS AARON MGMT. Makeup by ALEXANDER ECHEVERRI. Styling by TIMOTHY LUKE for THE ONLY AGENCY. Rowland: Hair by JARED HENDERSON for CHRIS AARON MGMT. Makeup BY SHEIKA DALEY for DAY ONE STUDIOS. Styling by WILFORD LENOV. Video Associate Producer: VANESSA WILKINS. Video Director of Photography: NATALIA MOSCOSO. Gaffer: GABE SANDOVAL. Camera Operators: ERIKA MORTON and BRITTNEY JANAE. Sound Mixer: TARA CATHERINE REID. Interview Editor: JOE MISCHO. BTS Editor: ADEN KHAN. Photographic assistance by MARLON SAVINELLI, JEREMY ERIC SINCLAIR. Digital Technician: ARON NORMAN. Monét styling assistance by ALEC MALIN.